NO arguments over the phone! Drivers must concentrate on their driving abilities, not the argument they just had. Sometimes, although you may feel it's unfair, we must bite our tongues. Remember that if you hang up on your driver, you probably can't call them back. Choose your words carefully. The phone does not allow us the luxury of a hug or wink when things start to escalate.

Try to set up a scheduled time and day for the drivers to call home; make a time range of 3-5 hours. If the call does not come in as planned, DO-NOTHING for 24 hours, anything is possible in trucking.

Discuss what priority is and when the dispatcher should be contacted. If times get tough, grit your teeth, get busy, call a supportive LOADS member. Do not sit by the phone waiting for your driver to call. They don't or at least shouldn't expect you to.

If there is an emergency at home, have a plan set up. Example, if you are unreachable at a hospital or something such as that, have the dispatcher give the phone number and name of a friend (previously set up) so the driver knows it's vital he/she calls.

Be sure the person at home knows how to handle basic home maintenance. Both parties need to be able to handle all household chores and repairs.

Be sure BOTH parties' names are on bank accounts, leases or anything else that might need signing or taking care of.

Homefronter, establish a positive rapport with dispatch and other office personnel. - they can be a valuable asset when you need to reach your driver in an emergency. Make sure you have all numbers, and get to know names so you can reach someone if need be.

Make time to listen to one another. Hear emotions, illness, distress, frustrations, and anxiety and discuss them. If ugly information needs to be shared, go lightly.

Try the five-minute conversation. For five minutes, one-partner talks only - those five minutes are followed by the other partner talking. Then five minutes of interactive conversation. Neither partner is allowed to interrupt the other. Don't use directive words such as "you do this, you make me feel this way, etc.," try using "I feel this way because." Pointing a finger at someone will only make that person retreat.

Honesty is the best policy! Don't hide anything you may think will disturb the other, although some things can wait, relationships are built upon trust and communication.

Truck stop snacks can be expensive and get old quick. When time permits, make the drivers favorite things - homemade is always best.

Buy inexpensive frames, place pictures of loved ones at home in them. This adds a touch of home to the rig.

Make and put coupons in the drivers' wallet (and visa versa). State they are good for back massages, candlelight dinners, movies, etc., Remember not to promise anything you won't be able to keep.

Using the coupon idea, take an old prescription bottle, tearing off the label and including slips of paper describing your prescription for your relationship.

Homefronters, every now and then do something extra special, for instance rent that move he's been wanting to see, pop corn and have major family time.

We all have needs, but nothing should be placed aside as important as the family life. Although the driver misses the children and spouse, individual time must be spent with each other alone. Drivers and children alone. Drivers and significant others alone.

Erase the "cheating" ideas from your mind. If you wonder if your driver is being faithful, ask yourself if you want the driver to wonder the same about you. Both parties feel loneliness, and diseases can be shared! Cheating is a signal that there was/is something wrong in your relationship prior to the event.

Drivers returning home after being out for weeks need to have time to re-adjust to the family structure. This does not give drivers the excuse that their job is done however once they return home. Be supportive and spend time with your family, not your favorite chair and remote control. It's quality of time that matters, not quantity.

Forget to tell the driver important things? Try a bulletin board near the phone. Write messages down for you to discuss with driver over the phone, or where he/she can look when they get home for notes.

Give a little, take a little. Honesty, communication and trust are the backbones of all relationships. Don't close your minds and hearts to one another, reach out and remember why you love one another. Discuss your hopes and fears with each other. Communication should start at home and continue while the driver is on the road.

On a cassette tape, tape songs that mean something to both of you; songs that you feel describe your relationship. Put the tape in the rig with a personal note attached, surely this tape will be listened to over and over again.

Missed special occasions will happen from time to time. Learn to adjust to celebrate them when the driver is home, instead of by when they are on the calendar. Have a "Family Holiday" from time to time. Some trucking families have more "special occasions" than the regular calendar does.

If there is a time the driver absolutely needs to get home on a certain date, be sure to let the company know at least 2 weeks in advance. Put it in writing, copying everyone in the office who may need to know. Don't be afraid to tell dispatch when you need to start heading in the direction of home.

Remember to take time for yourself. Always remember that you as the homefronter are a person too. Do not allow the driver's job to consume you, or to make him the center of the universe. You are entitled to respect as well. Although there may be times you must do without, do not let it get to the point where you are sitting at home waiting for him to resume your life. Maintain your own interests and hobbies. Use the time while the driver is gone to do things you enjoy that the other person may not.