L.O.A.D.S., Loved Ones and Drivers Support

[TruckersDaughter]

I've been MIA, not that anyone's noticed though lol But i need some mommy help please?? I'm at my wit's end.. My son Jack will be 3 next month.. He will NOT go potty on the potty chair!! He did fine for a little over a week.. He went 1 & 2 on the potty chair.. Thought to myself .. Dang this is gonna be a snap! WRONG! This was a little over a month ago.. Suddenly he stopped.. Every week i'm trying something new.. I've bribed him with his favorite snack sized candy, i've done the cheerio thing, he loves money so i bribed him with that too.. Bought him pull-ups.. I've done the timer thing.. Bought him 2 different kinds of big boy undies, he wore them the other night.. I was outside painting. I had JUST asked him if he needed to go potty. He said no.. Not 5 seconds later he say's mama look.. He had just pee'd!!! OMG!!! I've even bought him a toy he's been bugging for & sat it on the entertainment center for him to see.. When he fills up his potty chart he get's it.. Well the chart sits empty.. I've even tried a time out for 3 minutes.. Explained to him he's a big boy, he's going to start pre-school & he can't pee or poop in his pant's. Nothing's working!! He know's where to go & how to do it.. He just WON'T.. Your thought's? Idea's???
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What i do today will 'prolly burn my (butt) tomorrow..

[Tatertot]

Not having kids myself, I'm probably the last one that should address this lol, but have you tried "timing" and taking him in there? Basically when you think he should need to use it take him right also, first thing in the morning and last thing of an evening?
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Resident non-conformist :p

[Kegs]

I have 3 of them and my boy was the hardest to get potty trained. What I finally did was every half hour ask him if he needed to go potty. Even if he said no by 45 minutes in I would take him in the bathroom and have him sit for 2 minutes without me in there with him. This worked for about a month and then nada.

I finally made it a challenge for him that I could pee longer than he could and that did it.

I know there are others who have more than one boy who could give you more ideas.

Best of luck to you,
Kegs
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Wicked Witch of the Mid-West

[LadyDi]

He may or may be ready. Most kids are trainable in their mid 2's. Some are a little older before they are ready. When mine were little, I started around the time they reached 2. Now from what I hear, you "might damage their little minds" by starting before 3. Sorry...I don't agree with that thought. Could you tell?

All that said, a friend of DD's has 4 yo twins. She just got one of them potty trained not long ago. I hate to say it, but when he is ready, he will train himself. Meantime, no pressure, no yelling, and as Tot said, when you think it should be time, sit/stand him near the pot or toilet. If you have seen a time pattern, have him go then (as in if he always goes an hr after lunch). If he is a stubborn child, he may hold it til a bit later.
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to all

[marliz]

We were running into the same problem with Granddaughter Skyler she was 3 in Nov at day care for a couple of weeks now she goes in the potty but would not at home - her b/sitter had her running around for the last couple of weeks in big girls panties not training pants or pull ups at home she wore pull ups she would just wet those so now this week at home she is wearing panties and running for the potty every time - the poop training she did herself about a year ago and would go potty for that - they are all different my friends son he was about 4 months from being 4 and decided to finally use the toilet but wouldn't before. Skyler is suppose to start jr. kindergarten in Sept but we will see how the toileting goes for a month before she is allowed to start.

[TruckersDaughter]

I've tried the undies.. Jack pee'd his first pair 11 minutes after i put them on.. The second pair was exactly 38 minutes after that! He tell's me when he poop's himself, that & you can smell it.. Takes after daddy! He's going to public pre-school & i was told they'll help with the potty process. We'll see.. He start's on his birthday, aug 23rd.. I've tried timing him as well. Doesn't work.. He either beats me to it or just sit's there like a bump on a log.. I've actually sat there with a magazine, read the whole thing & gave up.. Jack is VERY stubborn, takes after me.. Also has my temper.. Thinkin i need to make friends with his principals... My nephew was extremely easy to train.. I guess i should realize nothing with Jack is going to be easy.. Conceiving him wasn't easy, was shocked actually. Carrying him wasn't easy.. Cerclage then bedrest for 2 months, lost job because of bedrest, then my water broke a month early, emergency c-section because they lost his heartbeat & my placenta started to abrupt.. Guess it's a wait & see game? I'm actually at a loss as to what to do & am losing my patience.. Thank's for the advice!!!
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What i do today will 'prolly burn my (butt) tomorrow..

[Tigerzpride]

1st put the toy he's been bugging over away...give it to him at Christmas or something...
Have you thought that maybe he does NOT want to go to pre school so you telling him he can't go if he keeps "messing" is his way of "dealing" with that???
Kids are way smarter than we give them credit for being even at the age of 3...
He'll go when he gets ready...

[pudn]

The most important element in potty training is a willing participant. LOL Obviously you don't have that right now. I thought my oldest was going to kindergarten in diapers. The week before he turned four all of a sudden he just started going. It was like someone had turned on a switch.
Having spent the last 10 years in child development I have learned a few things. No expert mind you but I will tell you this. Like the others said, he will go when he is ready. No amount of cajoling or bribery will get some kids to do it. WIth some it just has to be their idea. He sounds like one of those.
I will say that I believe pull-ups are the worst thing ever invented for kids. They are for a parents convenience and nothing more. They prolong the potty training process in my opinion. If I have peed and pooped in a diaper for 2 yrs and you put something on me that looks just like it and feels just like it why should I not continue my behavior. Cloth training pants or underwear are uncomfortable when wet. Pull ups feel just like a diaper. Just my two cents...
Like you said he knows what to do and where to do it. Relax, let him go at his own pace. I promise you he will do it when he's ready.
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There is no such thing as a wrong note, as long as you're singing.
P Seeger

[MommaBehr]

I tried training my oldest at 2 and it was a nightmare. So I waited until he was 3. Shortly after he turned 3 we started and it took him about a week to get it. No problems ever since.

After seeing how easy that was I have just always waited until they were 3 to start the whole process. I've not had any problems potty training any of my boys or my girl.

I thinking that is not going to work here because he knows what to do, he just doesn't want to do it. I am also guessing that part of his resistance is that he was not really ready in the first place or some part of the whole process has made him think negatively about the whole thing. That does not mean you did anything wrong so please don't take it that way hon! You just have a very willful child...good in life, bad in potty training lolol.

Everything I can find says that since he is being resistant you have to back off the subject for awhile. Give him one last speech on why he should use the potty, remind him where it is, and then give him a break on the whole subject. No reminders, no more bargaining, just let the issue rest a bit. Keep trying undies and if he messes himself then try to make him clean himself or at least change his clothes so he learns that when it happens it is inconvenient for him to have to keep changing. Don't punish, don't make a big deal out of the accidents at all. If and when he does decide to use it...then make a big deal!

Hopefully some of that helps! I have one more boy to potty train and then I am done. I know I could try to start at 2, but I've had so much success waiting until age 3 that I won't even bother anymore. We all find our way to do it and it works...and that is what matters!
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Tamia

Stop by for a Visit!

[tazz001]

Luckily my boys wanted to be "big kids" both trained easily, but it was summer time in the mountains...which led to alot of bare butted kids runnign around. On the other hand my wild child Amanda...whew I thought she was not going to be able to go to Headstart cuz she ws so pig headed about using the potty. She trained 2 weeks before her younger sister (Manda was almost 4 and Allie was just over 2) Manda just couldn't let the lil sister train before her and Allie wanted to do everything the big sister did.

Let it go for a bit and don't pressure him. Forget about the training esp since the school said they can help. I bet when he sees other boys doing big boy stuff he will want to follow thru.

[MrsOtto]

Matthew wouldn't use the potty chair, so I got him a seat that fits over the regular toilet--and, a step stool. He thought it was cool to sit on the big potty.

I didn't really push him to use it, although I was getting tired of changing his diapers. lol I'd tell him that he was a big boy, and too big for the changing table/counter, etc.--that it was time to use the big boy potty, and not his diapers. It helped that he'd follow us in there all the time, so he knew what the toilet was for.

He was almost 3 yrs old when he pottied by himself, but he was over 3 before he finally pooped in there. I'd have a diaper on him at night, and he'd poop right before he got out of bed.

Another lady I know had a boy the same age. He would potty in the toilet, and wear regular underwear, but would actually ask for a diaper to poop in! She'd hand him the diaper, and he'd sneak off into his room, change his own pants and poop. LOL When he got tired of changing his own diaper, he finally felt ready to use the toilet.

Every kid is different. And, there's one pet peeve I have, that some parents seem to be in a contest with others as to who's kid is going to reach which milestone first. They'll do it when they're ready, and if you push them too hard, it will backfire on you all the time--in one way or another.
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Shari

[SusanB]

my grandson Austin who lives with me is 4 and he is doing exactly what your son is doing on the training. we've gotten him to the point where he does "go" but still has accidents. he's sick of us asking him it he has to go. when he is playing he forgets. four or five months ago it was getting hopeless. those pullups we use but I ended up telling his mom she was to put those on only at bedtime. we ended up asking the family doctor about it, he said kids will go and be trained when they are ready not the parents. but he did say to use those rubber pants over the underwear that way when Austin does do anything in his pants he will NOT like the feeling of wetness. when I had both girls being trained it was a cake walk compared to Austin. and mt pet peeve is that I also dont like the contest where the parents compare kids about the potty training.

but then again when we went to Rochester last week, coming home he found out what that those BLUE rest areas signs meant. soooo every so many miles those signs would show and he would yell out "I got to go potty!" sheesh! I thought we never would get home. Its a 3 hour drive and it took us 4 and half hours to get home.
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The trouble with life is there's no background music.

[LadyDi]

[Bookworm]

Put him on the BIG toilet and have him sit backwards and give him a toy truck to drive back and forth across the toilet tank.

Worked for my son after Betty gave up trying I did this and never had one mistake afterwards

Dave
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May the silence make you strong.
- Chief Dan George

[Tatertot]